The war I started (Shakuni)

The Kuru clan shall suffer and perish. My father’s voice boomed in my ears, even though he was not there. I stood next to a tree. I looked at the humongous field, surrounded by the visceral clouds, with many chariots and trees around. The Kaurava soldiers against the Pandava soldiers, their shield and swords clashing against each other, their steel sounds echoing on the field. But for what? Loss and defeat was certain for us. I knew it; that was what I have always wanted, the downfall of the Kuru Clan.

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I had given my entire life for their downfall, after what Dhritrashtra had done to my sister. Damn that person….he destroyed my life, my family, my spirit to live! My sister, Gandhari, did so much for him, suffered so much for him, and this is how repaid us? Not done.

I knew I had to take revenge on Dhritrashtra, for what he did to my family. I had to destroy his entire lineage; the Kuru Clan. Isn’t that what he did with my ancestors? My father, Subala, gave me all the rice we had left, so that I could survive; so that I could do what he was never able to do; destroy those Kauravas and take revenge on Bhishma for what he did to our family. But before doing so, my father had to do the one thing which I wish he did not do; ask and beg for forgiveness from Dhritrashtra, and told him that I would never take or even attempt to take the throne from Dhritrashtra’s sons. Taking pity on us, he eventually did. This had infuriated me and I knew I had to destroy Dhritrashtra in any way possible. But my father used to say, “Everything will fall into place, when the time is right.” These words did not make sense to me then, but now, I know what they truly meant. Back then, I knew that even though I could not have a claim on the throne, I had to somehow be the hands and power behind the throne. So began my journey. Towards destruction. Towards revenge. Towards redemption.

My father beat me constantly on my leg, to make me limp, so that it could serve me as a reminder of the revenge I had to take on the Kuru clan. My father told me to make dices out of his bones when he died. It seemed like a weird request at that time, but he assured me that in time, I will benefit from it and make use of it to make or break humanity. And I did. I broke the humanity from the Pandavas and Kauravas. My father had told me to become the reason for the Kauravas to fall. And I did. And I deeply regret it.

Yes. I regret it. Why? Because even though I wanted to destroy and annihilate the Kuru lineage, I started to empathize with the Kauravas, and began to understand their inferior situation. In particular, I could empathize with one particular Kaurava, Duryodhana. He had anger and jealousy trapped inside of him, against his cousin brothers, the Pandavas. At that time, I knew what had to be done. I manipulated Duryodhana for years, and instilled the roots of hatred in the Kauravas against Pandavas. I knew that the only way to destroy and bring the downfall of the Kauravas was to instill hatred among them against their cousin brothers. After all, didn’t the Pandavas belong to the Kuru clan too? And I succeeded in instilling this hatred and jealousy. Having spent so many years with them, I knew the strengths and weakness of each of the Kauravas. I guess this is where I made a mistake; of commiserating with them.

Looking back, I wish I had not grown close to them. I knew I would be the reason for their downfall, and I knew that I would be fulfilling my father’s wishes. But at what cost? I see the soldiers dying on the field, their body mangled against the chariots and trees. My Kauravas. I do not know what to feel. Happy? Or sad? Isn’t this what I have always wanted? I should have never let the Pandavas play that game of dice.

The Game of Dice is where everything changed. Having constantly tried to defeat and destroy the Pandavas, I knew that I had to come up and pull off something grand; something which would change the course of humanity forever. And I knew this could only be done with the help of a game of dice. In a normal game, the Pandavas would have won, but I knew we had to win, and that’s why I made sure that my father’s dices were used. Yes. I admit that I cheated. But isn’t everything fair in love and war? And I knew from my years of plotting numerous schemes against the Pandavas that Yudhishthira, the eldest Pandava, had a weakness for the game. So the game was afoot!

I, along with Duryodhana, called the Pandavas to come for a game of dice. And they reluctantly accepted our request. If only someone had told them that this would be the place where they lost everything!

Being an expert at the game of dice, I knew that I had to be the one who cast the dice on Duryodhana’s behalf. And those Pandavas agreed to it too! What fools they were! I used my mastery and tricks to make sure that Yudhishthira lost everything; his wealth, his crown, his palaces, his own brothers, and even his wife, Draupadi!

Now this is where I felt that Duryodhana went a step too far in making my plan succeed. He ordered his servants to strip Draupadi. This was something which was not according to my plan, yet I knew that it would lead to the humiliation of the Pandavas, and in a way, the Kauravas themselves. So the servant started to strip Draupadi off her clothes. They pulled her clothes. And pulled. And pulled. For some reason, her clothes never ended. I could listen Draupadi mutter something. I tried to listen carefully, and after a few moments, heard the name of a person who would be my formidable enemy.

Krishna.

I had heard the tales and stories of Krishna. Of how he created miracles and defeated his enemies. Of how he was successful in creating alliances with kingdoms all across the country. I knew that if he was present, I could never take revenge on the Kuru clan. So I made sure that Krishna was not present when I was carrying out my schemes. The Pandavas had declared all-out war against us, and I knew that the time had come. I remember, my father’s words had echoed in my ears, “Everything will fall into place, when the time is right.” The words made so much sense to me now.

I knew that with Krishna on their side, it would be impossible for us to win. So I hatched plans to defeat the Pandavas, to bring them more trouble and more misery. But every time, I failed. I knew that I had to pull of something grand and shocking once again, something so shocking that it would break down the spirits of the Pandavas. That’s when I heard the story of Arjun’s son, Abhimanyu. I knew that Abhimanyu did not know how to break the powerful, seven-tiered Chakravyuh formation. I knew that Krishna being a god, would have known how to break the formation too. But I made sure that I was one step ahead, by being a part of the innermost circle of the formation. When the time came, I stabbed Abhimanyu and voila! I broke the spirit of the Pandavas with literally one hand.

They tried their best to kill me. But I am not known as the Master of Trickery and Illusions for no reason. I escaped every move of theirs, and survived every day. I did what I did, for the better good, for what I believed was right. I was the trickster behind this entire war; the mastermind; the manipulator. My very name, ‘Shakuni’, means a bird, and I am the bird who overlooks this war; this massacre. I mastered the game which only a handful of people could master; the game of reality; of life. Until today.

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Today was the last day of battle. I knew that I had succeeded. In breaking humanity and morals apart. In tearing families apart. I knew that the Kauravas had no chance of winning against the Pandavas, with Krishna on their side. But at least I could break their spirits through this war.

I look at the field; the brothers fighting with each other, with blood and sweat all over them, their swords and shield clashing and making explosive sounds. I stand next to a tree, where I could be safe from the Pandavas. But not for long.

My gaze goes towards a figure approaching me. When the figure came closer, I could make out who it was; Sahadev. Suddenly, chills went down my spine. I hope he does not kill me. I think.

Sahadev takes a step forward and says “Shakuni! I know you are the reason why this war started. You are the reason for this massacre. For everything bad happen to us!” I could feel his voice rising.

He continues “I know why you are doing this. For revenge, right? You want to take revenge on us; on the Kuru Clan, for what they did to your family.” Sahadev comes forward, only a few steps away from me. He looks at me for a few seconds and then says “I understand what you are going through. I cannot do anything about it. But I just want to ask you one question; why are you still here? You achieved what you have always wanted; for us brothers to break apart, to break and destroy the spirit of humanity; to take revenge on us.”

Sahadev gives me a stern look, takes a deep breath and says “You should leave. Right now. Go back to Gandhar. Rule your kingdom.”

At that moment, I feel ashamed. At who I was. Of what I had done. It was because of me that so many people died. Because of me, that so many relations were broken and destroyed. Because of me, that this very war was happening. I feel deep remorse for whatever I had done in my past.

I look at Sahadev, and say “Young man, I have committed crimes which cannot be spoken off. I have done things which are morose and degrading. But what choice did I have? My family had been tortured. I was following my dharma. My sister…she had suffered far too much for me to bear and I had to do something. I know. I have done bad things. Horrible things. Maybe I should not live. Maybe…” I take a deep breath and said, with finality “Maybe I should die too. In this very battlefield.”

I knew that I had to die. I could not live with myself anymore. And I knew that dying in this battlefield would be the correct thing to do. So I take out my bow and take an arrow and start attacking Sahadev. I knew that Sahadev was far stronger than me, and that he could kill me in a second. I knew that I had to spur him to kill me, so that I could die for my atrocities, for my crimes and wrongdoings. I knew that I had to die for what I was; a monster.

Sahadev avoided my arrows and held his sword tight. I knew that the moment had come. For me to die. For me to go into an eternal sleep.

Sahadev looks at me and said, for one last rime “Shakuni! I had vowed to my brothers and my wife Draupadi that I will be the one to kill you. Your time ends here. Goodbye!”

With one swipe of his sword, he attacks my neck. I close my eyes and see no more.

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(Shakuni is a character from the epic, Mahabharata. He is perceived to be the main antagonist of the story, being the reason the Kurukshetra war happens. This particular story is from the POV of Shakuni. Whatever has been written is just a fictionalized version of the events which took place; the writer is not sure if the war actually took place. The writer means no disrespect to the epic, or the characters, and appreciates the writings of the original author of the story, and takes into consideration all the facts and facts present in the writing, and makes use of this information for the above story.)

(Story is part of a creative writing assignment, where we had to write from a villain's perspective)

(Image taken from https://www.inrootz.in/mythology-articles-stories)